Things to Consider Before Buying a Pet Pumpkin

Here's one of those rare, un-polish related posts. My friend Ali is suddenly very into the season and was emailing me about how she bought a white pumpkin for her parents' house. I asked if she was planning on carving it and she responded: 

"I have no clue what my mom is going to do with the pumpkin.. it’s so cute! It’s all big and fat.. and it’s kind of lumpy!  I want a pet pumpkin pleeeeeeease!"

Now, a pet pumpkin is a serious commitment, I had to make sure she had all the facts before diving right in. This was my response:

"You can have a pet pumpkin as long as you accept the following points:

a)      You will not be able to walk it on a leash, you’ll have to carry it. Pumpkins don’t have legs
b)      Understand that in some cultures, pumpkins are not pets – they are food. It may be upsetting when you hear of someone eating a pumpkin but you have to be sensitive to cultural differences.
c)       Some pumpkins think they’re better than everyone else and might pick on your pumpkin for being white, just ignore them. Your pumpkin may get upset but explain to your pumpkin that whether it’s white, orange or green.. it’s what’s inside that counts.
d)      A pumpkin is not a lifelong pet. Right when you start getting attached, it’s time for it to die.
e)      Pumpkins are prone to flesh eating disease which dramatically alters the adorable appearance of their skin. It’s a painful and humiliating experience and there is no cure. Be prepared to comfort it through this difficult time.

I hope you have a broader scope of the implications and responsibilities of owning a pet pumpkin and are prepared to make an educated decision."

And there you have it, things to consider before buying a pet pumpkin. Please be responsible pet owners!